Memorial for
Mary Schweitzer Baker

Born in 1918, Mary was my mother.  She was a special ed teacher for several years and earned her Master's Degree in education when she was over 50.

A talented singer, she enjoyed singing with the church choir.  She had done many types of art in her life including writing, pastels, sculpture, poetry and photography. Mom was also highly intelligent and I never tired of listening to her  - she was a font of information!  She also was a willing listener when I wanted to tell her about something.  She and I would sometimes, when neither of us could sleep at night, sing songs together and read poetry.  Her favorite book was "101 favorite poems" a paperback which was well used in our household.

An Agnostic, Mary never was given a testimony of the existence of God but she searched in many religions and throughout her life, was a member of several churches including Hindu, Protestant and Catholic.  At the end of her life, she was attending a Lutheran church but the last time she was hospitalized, (infection at the site of her hip joint replacement) she told the nurses that she had never "believed" in God.

All her life, she struggled with a borderline personality disorder and clinical depression, both a result of a troubled childhood and parental abuse when she was young. 

She also struggled with obesity and believed that it will kill her early in life, an idea not unattractive to someone with a clinical depression.  However at the age of 68 years old and weighing about 270 lbs at 5'3" when she was still going strong, she decided to end her life with a pistol.  Together with my Dad for 33 years, she married Jack Baker some time after my Dad passed and remained married for several years until Jack ended his life.

A talented person, and charming and clever, she had difficulty reaching out to those she loved and could be difficult to live with.  She said herself, that she was like the "girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead - when I'm good, I'm VERY GOOD and when I'm bad, I'm horrid!"

Her first suicide attempt was when she was 17 years old.  She had written the following around that time:

"The wind is blowing hard,
The clouds are made of pearl.
I walk along the street,
A solitary girl."

She left no note at her passing but only a tape in the cassette machine paused on the song "I'm so lonely I could die".

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